Secretary's Report...

Deep in the Heart of Texas

Baseball Odyssey is always an adventure and never more so than in 2006.  Without the invention of waterproof fabrics, 15-passenger motor vehicles, weather radar, and Texas hospitality, BO06 would have been a veritable flood of bad memories.  As it turned out, it was nothing of the sort. 

On Friday, June 16th, Der Kommissar, Jeffrey A. Haynes, awoke for an unusually long workday.  That is to say, he was going nowhere near the office.  Instead, his ‘to do’ list looked something like this:

Well after dark, get back in the van with all those smelly people and their luggage and drive through another rainstorm, in unknown territory, to the day’s final destination, McKinney, Texas

Needless to say, Der Kommish completed all his tasks punctually and flawlessly.   

As the van came to a halt in a shopping center a little after 6 p.m., the group could see our resting spot, Dr. Pepper Ballpark—home of the Frisco Rough Riders—on the horizon.  Although the park was a short walk away from our free parking spot, we elected to rid the free shuttle, which stopped a few feet from the van.  As we entered this school-bus-turned-air-conditioned-fan-shuttle, the driver cheerily greeted us.  “Welcome aboard, everyone!  Why go Greyhound, when you can ride the Yellow Dog?”

The bus dropped us a few feet from the right field entrance to the park, where we met the rest of our party, the Cowley Six, and received our game tickets from Der Kommish.  We flashed our tickets for the happy gate attendants—all dressed in their red Rough Rider polo shirts and shorts—and received our free “PlayBall” (modeled after the theatrical “PlayBill”) programs for our trouble.  Then we were free to go our separate ways; some sought sustenance1, some soaked up the sun and ambiance, and others searched out the soldiers’ signatures.  Cooper and I raced past the new pool and picnic area2 in right-center and around the foul poll to the visiting Corpus Christi Hooks’3 bullpen down the first base line.  He found the victims lined up and waiting for him.  

Several pitchers pulled up seats on the side of the bullpen, just above an aisle and behind a steel railing, facing the field, and signed autographs while starting pitcher Mitch Talbot warmed up behind them.  While Cooper went down the line, getting John Hancocks from his new friends, I struck up a conversation with Mr. Aaron Williams, a 25 year-old, fourth year minor leaguer.  After he shared his dream-chasing journey4, which has included multiple arm injuries, I asked about his team’s recent visitor, one Roger Clemens.  Williams spoke with reverence of his time with the pitching god, who, a week earlier, made a tune up start with Corpus Christi in preparation for a much-anticipated return to the big leagues.  Apparently, Clemens flew in to work out with the team, treat them to baseball tips and dinner, pitch 6 innings, and fly home, all in a few hours.  For Williams, it was a career highlight.

The conversation was interrupted by the end of Cooper’s hunting and gathering and the realization that game time was nearly upon us.  On to Section 117, we went.

Dr. Pepper Ballpark was voted “The Best New Ballpark of 2003” by baseballparks.com5.  On the outside, it is designed to blend in with surrounding buildings.  In place of an upper deck, the first and third base lines are ringed with gray, three-story suites that have siding, balconies, and roofs and look like town houses.  Many of the entrance gates open to winding, flower-strewn paths that lead visitors to small concourses between the suites to get to the field. It all adds to the homey atmosphere of the place and gives it a unique look.  A large scoreboard sits atop a berm outside the left field fence, which, like the rest of this and most outfield fences in the minor leagues, is filled with local advertising, including this gem “Park Place Lexus of Plano, Texas—a 2005 Malcolm Baldridge Award Winner for Quality”.

Before the game started, we were introduced to the “Wild West” team, which included two actors, one  dressed as a mayor and another as a saloon hostess.  The impressive thing about these two is that they are active working the crowd throughout the game wearing big smiles and many layers of western garb, despite the hot temperatures.  

The game started roughly enough for the home team, with starting pitcher Andrew Walker giving up three straight singles to Ben Zobrist, Hunter Pence, and J.R. House.  With two outs, he faced veteran minor-leaguer 300-pound designated hitter Walter Young.  But Young pulled the first pitch right to second baseman Adam Morrissey and the Rough Riders were out of the inning.  In the bottom of the inning, the Hooks’ Talbot faced only four batters but threw twenty-three pitches to get through the inning, thanks largely to shortstop Casey Benjamin’s 9-pitch at bat.

Rough Rider Walker got into trouble in the third, after striking out both Zobrist and Pence.  House slammed a 2-0 pitch onto the berm in left.  Then he hit leftfielder Jorge Cortez, bringing Young back to the plate.  The DH jumped on the first pitch again, this time hitting it over the fence not far from House’s shot, giving the visitors a 3-0 lead.  Walker struck out the next batter to end the inning, but elevating his pitch count to 50 pitches after three innings.  In the fourth, he gave up an RBI-double to Zobrist, scoring second baseman Jonny Ash, who also had doubled, to make it 4-0.

In the bottom of the fourth, the Hooks’ Walker was cruising until a one out double by big DH Nate Gold followed by a walk and a single loaded the bases for third baseman Travis Metcalf.  After working the count to 3-1, however, Metcalf took a strike and then went down swinging, and catcher Mike Nickeas did the same on three pitches, ending the Rough Rider threat.  In the top of the fifth, the Hooks added a run on J.R. House’s leadoff homerun, making it 5-0 when the home team came to bat again.  

By the bottom of the fifth, the crowd was getting restless.  We had just been informed that the planned post-game fireworks had been cancelled due to high winds, and, on the field, the opposing team was the only one making sparks.  Leftfielder Luke Grayson opened the inning grounding out to shortstop, but not before fouling off several pitches in a 9-pitch at bat that left starter Walker at the 85-pitch mark.  Leadoff hitter Jayce Tingler was hit by a pitch and Benjamin blooped a single to make it interesting. With one out, Nate Gold smashed an 0-2 pitch out, making it 5-3.  Walker then settled down to strike out first baseman Jim Fasano to end his 97-pitch, 5-inning effort.

The sixth was a little rocky for Rough Rider reliever Dan Touchet, as he gave up one-out singles to Zobrist and Pence, but second baseman Morrissey robbed J.R. House of a hit with a diving catch and Touchet struck out Cortez to end the threat.  Both Touchet and Hooks’ reliever Josh Miller held the opposition at bay until the bottom of the seventh when Miller gave up a leadoff walk to Tingler.  But  Tingler was thrown out trying to steal6, and the pesky Benjamin struck out on 7 pitches.  Morrissey then walked on a 3-2 pitch and Nate Gold singled (his third hit of the night), bringing up first baseman Fasano who struck out to end the threat in the fifth.  This time, however, Fasano drove a 1-2 pitch to the corner in right, scoring Morrisey.  But the hefty Gold was out at third on a nice throw by right fielder Pence to preserve the one-run visitors’ lead.

Pence then struck a two-out double in the top of the eighth, but was left stranded by reliever Jesse Chavez.  In the bottom of the inning, who should take the mound to preserve the lead but my old friend Aaron Williams, who put the home team down in order.  In the top of the ninth, the Hooks got singles from Cortes and Ash (who had three singles and a double on the night), but reliever Jesse Carlson got out of his own jam by getting catcher Kevin Davidson (who was 0-5 with five fly outs on the night) to fly out to right.

So, the sellout crowd of 10,127 was ready to rally in the bottom of the ninth with Williams still on the mound for the opposition.  Our rhythmic clapping worked its magic when, with one out, leadoff batter Tingler singled.  Benjamin ran the count to 2-2, and then fouled one off.  On the next pitch, the batter sent a hard grounder to second base. But Ash was able to start a 4-6-3 double play that ended the game, giving the first-place Hooks7 their fortieth victory of the year and Williams his third save.  

After sauntering out of Dr. Pepper Ballpark and past the lines waiting for the Yellow Dog, we hoofed it back to the parking lot and piled into the BO vans, with the Cowleys leading us to their home a few miles away in McKinley.

Upon arrival, there were several chores.  The Cowley children—Alyssa, Mariah, Ian, and Christina—were charged with entertaining the Tonachel boys while the adults fumbled around in the backyard to set up the ’06 BO Tent City.  An impressive array of domes were set up, thanks in part to the Cowleys generously donating their 6-person tent to the cause.  Four tents were erected in all, from the 2-person Honeymoon Suite for Chris and Yuki to the 8-person Bates Multiplex which went up surprisingly quickly and without major incident under the expert guidance of Bill (who was in turn, of course, being expertly guided by his wife Andrea, brother Jon, and sister-in-law Sarah). 

Once the tents were more-or-less upright and securely fastened to the lush lawn, attention turned to the Cowley pool which features a hot tub and a slide, complete with homemade mister to speed one’s descent.  Although it was the end of a very long day, with some travelers heading out of their houses to airports before 4 a.m., the pool was a very popular and refreshing attraction.  The Cowleys emptied out their towel shelf to accommodate the thirteen visitors, just one of endless gracious host touches that we were treated to throughout the weekend.

Sometime after we all finally turned in for the night, a thunderstorm came through McKinney, bringing little rain but lots of thunder and lightning.  In the morning, several of us “counting” types compared notes on how close the lightning got, based on how many seconds it was between flashes and “booms”.  And how we hoped and/or prayed that Simon and Stacey had left the doors unlocked in case we had to make a dash for it.  

The overcast, misting skies did not deter us from a variety of other morning activities including: the annual BO awards ceremony, which features a recap of the previous year’s exploits and the distribution of unique and creative “prizes” by Der Kommish; swimming; eating endless griddlecakes prepared by flip master Simon8 as well as fruit, bacon, eggs, and other fine treats from Stacey and her little helpers; reflecting on the previous night’s game and updating the Fantasy scores; Der Kommish building the BO website’s Realtime Status blog; seriously raucous games of Spades and Cash, billiards and darts; swimming; watching the weather radar anxiously on the TV; Stacey’s informative briefing on McKinney and the neighborhood; additional conversation (“now what’s your name again, and who’s kid is that?”); and, of course, swimming. 

Morning bled into afternoon, and we all enjoyed visiting, getting each other’s names memorized, and resting up for our planned evening activity.  A large group laughed through a game of Apples to Apples.  The pool was the site of a viscous game of catch in which water balls are thrown at top speed to some fellow swimmer, hoping to “catch” them between the eyeballs with a soggy sphere.9  The hot tub did such big business it was renamed the “Incredibly Shrinking Hot Tub.  Stacey and Sarah snuck off for a trip to a flea market while others of us gathered around a TV to watch the nail-biting Italy/US World Cup match (which, of course, attracted a few sarcastic onlookers as well who loudly displayed their skepticism about the World’s Game).  The afternoon included another fine feast from the seemingly constantly cooking Cowleys.  The flip master employed the grill to prepare ballpark fare as Stacey pulled together salads, fruit, endless condiments, and tasty desserts.  By 4 p.m., we were well prepared to reenter the BO vans and head south for the hour-long drive to the Dallas suburb of Arlington.  The time was passed with riveting conversation and a frightening, fascinating focus on photographing folks’ uvulas.10 

We parked in one of the remote lots that surround Ameriquest field, home of the Texas Rangers, and walked across the sprawling ballpark property. As we wound our way along the concrete path towards the ballpark, we passed a large lake and a youth baseball field that is immaculately landscaped and complete with steel and concrete grandstands that mimic the big stadium next door.  Approaching the home plate entrance, we could see the Texas longhorns and stars etched into granite at the top of the stadium.  

We reached the gates behind home plate nearly two hours before game time. Following a customary, gathering rhythmic clap and the distribution of tickets by Der Kommish, we made our entrance and began exploring.  Ameriquest, completed in 1994 and first called The Ballpark at Arlington, includes many of the retro features of this generation of ballparks.  Lots of exposed steel beams, an attractive, brick façade, darkly colored seats, and a big right-field home run porch. It also has plenty newer amenities, including escalators to take you up to high, steep upper decks, wide concourses that house not only an impressive variety of food, beverage, and concession stands but also space for big parties, and big, bright electronic scoreboards.  Another neat feature is the big hill behind center field that serves as the “batter’s eye” during games.  During batting practice, (mostly young) fans line the edges of the hill, and, when a player launches a long drive onto the hill, there’s a mad scramble for the ball that generally includes a few people tumbling past the ball. 

Christina and Cooper led one group of us down to the home plate area, where the visiting Arizona Diamondbacks were taking batting practice (BP). BP is quite an experience and, for some of us, worth the price of admission.  The featured activity is the rotation of batters stepping into the cage and going through their pre-game hitting routine. A coach positions himself behind a screen at the front of the mound with a bag of baseballs, and methodically throws half- to three-quarters-speed pitches to the waiting, non-helmeted batter. Every hitter has a different routine, although most include a few bunt attempts somewhere along the line.  But what crowds gather for are the sluggers who send towering drives into the waiting throngs of fans in the grandstands and bleachers.  For all the balls that don’t go out, there are pitchers, bench players, and others on rehab who take to the outfield to shag flies.  There are also groups of joggers, stretchers, ball collectors, and ball tossers warming up around the playing surface.  So, while attention has to be paid to the lasers shooting out from home plate, there is also a lot of other simultaneous activity.  

Because BP includes a lot of waiting around for your turn and is meant to be a slow steady preparation of the muscles for the game to come, there is also ample time for signing autographs for those so inclined.  Which is where Christina and Cooper come in.  While I’m watching all the activity on the field, they were waiting patiently in line with other autograph seekers big and small, young and old, hoping to get those coveted star signatures.  Autograph signing has its own rhythms, with some—today, it seems most—players wanting nothing to do with it.  They may have some good reasons, too, as it appears many of these seekers are actually in it for profit, with elaborate schemes to have young, cute collectors gather signatures for them.  Other seekers bring catalogs of cards and other products and know where to be at what time to complete their mission.  Christina and Cooper, however, are optimistic novices.  So, when they ignored my cautions about waiting in line behind thirty other people to get Luis Gonzalez’ autograph, their optimism was rewarded, and I learned about one of the truly fan-friendly players in the game today.11  Buoyed by that success, Christina and Cooper stuck around for over an hour and got a couple more signatures for their efforts.  And we got to watch Gonzalez launch several balls into the right-field grandstands—a couple even to the upper deck home run porch—that we soon started moving towards to find our seats for the game.

Making our way around the park to our seats, we had time to further explore the concourse areas. On the outside walls, plaques hung immortalizing historic games at the new ballpark. The walkways were adorned with large, colorful banners of Rangers stars of the past and present. I enjoyed seeing banners that transported me back to childhood, including: Hall of Famer Fergie Jenkins, long-time catcher Jim Sundberg, the fleet-footed Mickey Rivers, steady slugger Toby Harrah, Mike “Human Rain Delay” Hargrove, timeless Gaylord Perry, and, of course, Nolan Ryan. Those old Ranger teams had some success12, but never brought home a divisional title.  To this day, the Rangers remain one of only four teams waiting for their first trip to the World Series.

We found our seats and the rest of the group in the middle of section 45 in the right field grandstands, below the upper deck overhang.  The overhang—with its exposed steel beam supports—is a feature which helps a park get that “retro” label; it is also, as it turns out, for the birds.  We learned the hard way that the steel girders make great resting spots for pigeons, and when they have to relieve themselves, they don’t bother flying off to, say, the luxury seats, to take care of business.  They just lift their tail and go.  Unfortunately for Jim, he was in the direct line of fire from a pre-game “reliever”.13 

One last pre-game treat involved the evening’s first promotion, a Mascot Party.  It involved major league mascots, including Detroit’s Paws, Baltimore’s Bird, Toronto’s Ace, Colorado’s Dinger (a dinosaur), and the Ranger’s Horse “Captain,” competing in a sack races, playing football, and pulling pranks on each other.  They also walked the edge of the field doing the silly things mascots do.  I was sad when the Bird didn’t make it out to right field so that I could say hi.  I think he would have gotten a kick out of seeing someone in Arlington, Texas in an Oriole hat.  “Poor chump,” I imagined he would say, as he patted my head. 

Then there was the game.  Arizona Diamondbacks versus Texas Rangers is not a match up you expect to see replayed on ESPN Classic.  But, as part of the abominable Interleague schedule, it counted as much as every other game, and it set up as an offense showdown.  The D’Backs starting pitcher, Kevin Jarvis, was an emergency starter called up from the minors following the release of Russell Ortiz, and the Ranger’s starter, John Koronka, had been struggling and was in danger of being sent down to where Kevin Jarvis came from.  So, it was not surprising when Arizona’s third baseman Chad Tracy lined a single with one out and stole second in the top of the first.  But Koronka struck out young Conor Jackson and got DH Gonzalez to fly out to second baseman Mark Derosa to end the threat.

Kevin Jarvis was not so lucky in the bottom of the inning.  Hot-hitting centerfielder Gary Matthews, Jr. was hit by Jarvis’ second pitch and promptly stole second.  Then reigning AL Batting Champion Michael Young lined a single to center to give the Rangers a 1-0 lead.  He, too, stole second.  But first baseman Mark Teixeira struck out on three pitches and third baseman Hank Blaylock flew out to centerfield.  A Mark Derosa walk followed, bringing right fielder Kevin Mench to the plate with two outs and two on.  A 1-1 wild pitch put both Young and Derosa in scoring position, and Mench then delivered a single to put the Rangers up 3-0.  DH Brad Wilkerson then grounded out to end the inning.  For all you kid pitchers out there, check this out: there were eleven batters in the inning and all five whose at bat started with a ball ended up reaching base, and five of the six batters who made an out started their at bat down in the count 0-1. 

The Diamondback offense got going in the second inning, starting (surprise, surprise) with a leadoff walk to veteran shortstop Damion Easley.  Right fielder Shawn Green moved him up with a grounder to first, hyper centerfielder Eric Byrnes walked on four pitches, and second baseman Orlando Hudson singled to load the bases.  Catcher Chris Snyder then hit a fly ball to deep leftfield, scoring Easley to make it 3-1.  Then, Koronka got ahead of leadoff man Andy Green 0-2, and Green popped out to first to end the threat.  

Jarvis struggled again in the bottom of the inning, walking 8th place batter, catcher Gerald Laird, on five pitches to start the inning.  He then surrendered a one out single to Matthews, Jr. and a sacrifice fly to Young to make it 4-1, before Teixeira hit Jarvis’s first pitch back at him for an easy out and end to the inning.  

Koronka ran the count full on Tracy leading off the third before getting him to ground out and walked Jackson on five pitches.  However, it took him only three more pitches to get Gonzalez on a lazy fly to center and Easley to bounce into a fielder’s choice to end the inning.  Jarvis, however, gave up singles to Blaylock and Derosa to lead off the bottom of the third.  Mench then hit into a fielder’s choice, scoring Blaylock, and Wilkerson did the same, erasing Mench.  Then, with two outs and two strikes, Laird fouled a ball down the first base line and Jackson made a great, over-the-shoulder catch to end the inning.

The fourth started with even a better defensive play.  Leadoff hitter Shawn Green crushed a 1-0 pitch into the deepest part of the park. We saw Matthews, Jr. race back towards the wall and disappear.  Then the roar from the crowd and Matthews, Jr. reappearing with his glove hand raised told us the result.  It’s a play you can probably watch on the Ranger’s website.  The D’Backs went down in order after that.  In the bottom of the inning, leftfielder Jerry Hairston, Jr. led off with a triple before Matthews, Jr. came to the plate to a loud ovation.  He turned the cheers into a standing one when he belted Jarvis’s second pitch for a two-run homer.14  Rangers 7, Diamondbacks 1.

The Diamondbacks fought back in the top of the fifth, getting the first two batters on with a single and a walk, but Tracy hit an infield fly and Jackson hit into a fielder’s choice.  So, Gonzalez’s second drive to centerfield was the third out instead of a run-scoring sacrifice fly.  In the bottom of the inning, the Rangers seemingly sealed the outcome when Mench doubled and was waved home on Laird’s two-out double to end the fifth, and Jarvis’ night, with a 7-run cushion.

Koronka started the sixth throwing three straight balls before getting Easley to bounce out.  But when Shawn Green hit a 3-2 pitch over the wall in right-center, Koronka’s night was done.  He gave way to 32-year-old rookie Bryan Corey who gave up singles to Byrnes and Hudson.  Then, on another 3-2 pitch, ninth-place batter Synder laced a two-run double, making it 8-4.  A walk to Andy Green had Ranger’s manager Buck Showalter running from the dugout to pull Corey for fellow freshman Scott Feldman to face the lefty Tracy.  Tracy ran the count to 3-2 and fouled off a pitch before hitting a grounder to second that Derosa got to Young for a force at second.  Then Feldman struck out Jackson to end the rally.

The bullpen parade continued, with the D’Backs’ hard-throwing reliever Gregori Aquino facing four batters and striking out the side in the bottom of the sixth.  In the seventh, Ron Mahay struck out two of the three D’Backs he faced in the top of the inning, and Jose Valverde struck out the side (walking one) in the bottom.  Sandwiched between their performances was a rousing rendition of “Deep in the Heart of Texas,” with the capacity crowd of 41,165 joining in to clap at the appointed moments in the song.  We faked it.

 In the eighth, in a battle of ex-Oriole pitchers, the Rangers’ Rick Bauer struck out two more visitors on his way to a 1-2-3 inning, and the home team went down 1-2-3 at the hands of Jorge Julio.  Bauer gave up a one-out single to Tracy in the 9th, but Jackson and Gonzalez both flied to Matthews, Jr. to end the game in just less than 3 hours.  The “W” on the SOUTHWEST centerfield scoreboard lit up, signifying a home team win.

Rain had been threatening for the last couple innings, as flashes of lightening appeared in the distance.  As the game ended and the Mascot Party evolved into a bizarre Olympic competition on the field, it started to drizzle.  Quickly, we mobilized down by the field for the traditional group photo while everyone else headed for cover and/or a good seat for the post game fireworks. Thanks to very hospitable ushers, we not only got our photos (“wait, wait, one more camera…”) but also got a tip that the best place to watch the fireworks was right outside the outfield gate.  So, we stampeded out and got out to the parking lot in time for the show.  

The fireworks were typical of many ballpark shows these days: an extended display of spectacular bursts and booms set to music.  We could barely hear the music, but we had a great view of the pyrotechnics.  Turned out, there were more than human-produced blasts on this night, as tremendous, frequent flashes of lightening accompanied the now-steadily falling rain.  So, while the post-game fireworks were cancelled due to “high winds” in Frisco the night before, the show in Arlington went on despite the imminent possibility of electrocution.  It made for a rousing show!  Afterwards, wet and tired, we wandered back around the park, past the youth stadium and lake to the official BO transporters, all with lightning flashing overhead.

The ride back to the Cowleys was challenging, as heavy rains continued off and on during the journey north.  Although the rain wasn’t heavy when we got back to the house, the skies remained ominous, and the weather radar was far too colorful.  With a 7 a.m. departure scheduled the next day, we decided to dismantle the tent city in the rain, drying several of the structures in the garage, and we all picked out a comfortable spot around the house.  Falling asleep was no problem.  

Sunday morning, groggy and dry, we drug ourselves out of beds and sleeping bags and packed our belongings for a trip to Houston.  Before leaving, we assembled in the backyard for another group shot.  It was quite a feat to get assembled, with all of us in various states of consciousness.  As brothers are wont to do, Ian found it a perfect time to tease his younger sister.  But, seizing the opportunity to helping the damsel in distress (or, more likely, identifying with the pain and agony of the younger sibling victim), Cooper stood up for Christina and demanded return of her Red Sox cap from the aggressor.  Getting Ruby, Rosie, Roxie, and Ella all in the picture was also a feat.  But the deed was done.  Then it was time to pile into the vans and head south.

There’s 250 miles of Not Much on Interstate 43 between Dallas and Houston, so the trip south was high quality bonding time.  There was card-playing, discussion about the Stanley Cup finals, efforts to remember what fantasy players we each had picked for the day’s game, and trying not to hit our heads on the roof of the van after every large bump in the road (while still “putting up the roof” for our drivers’ fine work at the wheel).  We stopped just short of halfway, outside Fairfield, to gas up and secure provisions for the rest of the ride.  A farm truck was parked at the gas station, and some of us bought fresh blueberries and other treats from the friendly folks of Cooper Farms.  Others found treats in the convenient store, including chips and candy.  The latter was a devastating choice, as the sugar rush quickly overcame the youngest members of the trip, and silliness took hold.  In the back of the 15-passenger van, Christina and Cooper started trash talking which led to contests such as who could hold their arm in the air the longest.  Bill Bates egged on the contestants and their trash talking by expressing doubts about the contestants’ abilities and making up rules to keep them on their toes.  Mercifully, the contests came to an end when we made our second and final pit stop outside Houston. 

Once again, drivers Jeff and Simon got us to the ballpark safely and well before game time.  We city folks were shocked and a little suspicious when the parking attendant in the lot we pulled into asked us our post-game destination and directed us to an easy out parking spot accordingly.  It pays to arrive early.  As we exited the van, the weather was what you might expect for mid-June in Houston: sunny and hot.  Therefore, it was a bit odd to see, as we reached Minute Maid Field, lots of people carrying sweaters and wearing jeans.  The explanation would come to us, though, as we entered the park and were hit with the cool dry, air-conditioned elements inside the retractable-roofed stadium.

We were not early enough to scrounge for autographs, but we had time to explore the park a little before the matinee game between the Kansas City Royals and hometown, reigning National League Champion Astros.  For those of us used to open air ball parks, enclosed stadiums can feel a little disorienting.  The ball sounds different off the bat, the crowd noise is more concentrated, and, instead of sun above there are steel beams that high fly balls appear ready to strike (though they rarely do).  But it’s still baseball. From our seats in section 133 down the right field line, we got a good view of the leg kick and long stride of Andy Pettitte as he fired a strike to centerfielder Esteban German to start the game.

Pettitte is an aging star who started the year off slowly, going 6-7 with a 5.46 ERA in his first 15 games.  However, he is a key factor in the Astros’ hopes for returning to the postseason.  The impending return of Roger Clemens will take some of the load off the lefty, and he often turns it up a notch when the games count most.  But, at this point in time, even facing the lowly Royals was no gimme for Pettitte.  Nevertheless, he breezed through the lineup, allowing only a second inning infield hit to third baseman Tony Graffanino and a third inning single to light-hitting catcher John Buck in his first tour through the Royals’ lineup.

Opposite Pettitte was right-hander Brandon Duckworth, pitching in just his second game of the season.  Duckworth is a five-year major league veteran with a losing lifetime record, mostly as a spot starter.  Injuries have contributed to his inconsistency.15  On this day, he seemed to be keeping the Astros off-balance early, allowing only one hit, a double to centerfielder Chris Burke, in the first three frames.  The lack of offense on both sides sometimes left time to get acquainted with some of the ball park’s other features, including a giant electronic scoreboard over right field, the home run train—a real steam locomotive waiting to blow its whistle and chug along 800 feet of track over leftfield—and the deep centerfield hill and flagpole, a tip of the hat to old Detroit Tiger stadium.  The most curious thing to me about the place was the bird population.  When I sat in my seat at the start of the game, I joked that we wouldn’t need to worry about bird droppings in the indoor stadium.  However, we did see birds flying around on the field who must have entered with the paying customers or set up shop on during a night game when the roof was open. So, when something dripped on me from above in the later innings, I thought I was in for trouble.  Turned out it was condensation from the air conditioning system high above us.

The fourth inning started with veteran Mark Grudzielanek16 (a.k.a. “Grud,” a nickname which would have helped 50-year broadcaster Harry Caray who never did quite get it right) lining Pettitte’s second pitch down the first baseline, only to have Mike Lamb dive and catch it.  Pettitte then struck out Reggie Sanders for his third strikeout and got leftfielder Emil Brown to fly to center to end the inning.  In the bottom of the inning, Burke hit another double with one out.  That woke up the person behind the controls of the Astros’ public address system, and the subdued crowd was whipped into frenzy by the “Killer Bees” buzzing around the park.  Started several years ago when the heart of the potent Astros lineup included Craig Biggio, Jeff Bagwell, and Derek Bell, the high volume buzzing is often considered very annoying by many visiting clubs, but the home crowd loves it.  In this game, the killer bee following Burke was slugger Lance Berkman who had been hitting well.  However, Duckworth struck him out on four pitches and got Morgan Ensberg to tap weakly in front of the plate and get thrown out at first to end the threat.  After four, it was still 0-0.17  

Pettitte continued his dominance through the fifth, getting all three batters without the ball leaving the infield.  In fact, only four of Pettitte’s fifty-two pitches left the infield in those first five frames, and he seemed to be cruising.  And, although he wasn’t as efficient as Pettitte, Duckworth was also retiring every batter, except Chris Burke, going into the fifth.  However, leftfielder Preston Wilson started the fifth by slamming his seventh homerun over the fence in left centerfield.  That got the homerun train moving and crowd buzzing.  Catcher Brad Ausmus followed with a double and shortstop Adam Everett, who made the last out of the 2005 baseball season, singled, bringing up Pettitte with two on and none out.  Pettitte laid down a perfect sacrifice bunt, moving up the runners with one out.  That brought up future Hall of Famer second baseman Craig Biggio18.  An Astro since arriving in the majors as a catcher in 1988, Biggio is a crowd favorite in Houston.  However, in this at bat, after working the count to 2-1, he popped out to the third baseman and runners couldn’t advance.  The Astros’ top hitter, first baseman Lamb, was next, but Duckworth struck him out on five pitches and the damage was held to one run.  

The disappointment of the bottom of the fifth seemed to be carried into the field in the top of the sixth.  John Buck deposited Pettitte’s first pitch of the inning into the left field seats, making it 1-1.  Then Duckworth helped his own cause with a surprise double and moved to third on a sacrifice bunt by leadoff hitter Esteban German.  Grudzielanek followed with another run-scoring double, bringing up dangerous Reggie Sanders19.  Sanders swung at Pettitte’s first pitch and drove it just over the wall in right field, putting the Royals up 4-1.  After surrendering the lead on four extra base hits in five batters, and seemingly out of gas, Pettitte settled down and got two fly ball outs to end the inning.  

Between innings, a rare sixth inning stretch was observed in recognition of Prostate Cancer Awareness, a new, national Father’s Day tradition at ballparks nationwide.  “Take me out to the ballgame” was sung an inning early, giving the Astros an extra excuse to ice the opposing pitcher. And it seemed to work when Lance Berkman stroked a one-out single, and Ensberg reached on a walk. Perhaps under the weight of the intensified rhythmic clapping, Duckworth started to crack, allowing the runners to move up on a wild pitch to centerfielder Wilson.  Then, on a 3-2 pitch, Wilson hit into a run-scoring fielder’s choice to make it 4-2, and sending Duckworth to the showers.  Royals’ manager Buddy Bell executed a “double switch”, bringing Mark Teahan off the bench to replace Graffanino at third base and hit ninth, and inserting reliever Elmer Dessens in the fifth spot in the order. So, Ausmus came to the plate representing the tying run, but Dessens got him to fly out deep to centerfield to end the threat and preserve the lead for Royals’ starter. 

Pettitte returned to the mound in the seventh and was able to retire the side in order, finishing with a strikeout of Buck.  Other than the rough sixth inning, he had faced only one batter more than the minimum and thrown only 76 pitches through 7 innings, looking like the Pettitte of old.  However, following “God Bless America,” with the Astros needing offense in the late innings, manager Phil Garner lifted Pettitte for pinch hitter extraordinaire Orlando Palmeiro with one out in the bottom of the seventh.  Palmeiro rewarded his manager’s decision, working a 7-pitch walk off Dessens and moving to third on a double by Biggio.  The crowd perked up when Lamb bounced a run-scoring grounder to second base.  Then, with two outs, the .300 hitting Burke stroked another 3-2 pitch for a double down the line, scoring Biggio to tie the score.  Then the Royals intentionally walked Berkman to get to the struggling Ensberg.  On a 2-2 pitch, the third baseman hit a long fly to left that looked like it might hit one of the ceiling girders from where we sat, but it found Emil Brown’s glove instead to end the inning.  Nevertheless, the comeback wiped out Duckworth’s opportunity for a win, and the game was left to a battle of the bullpens. 

Veteran Trever Miller took the mound for the Astros in the 8th, and he looked impressive, striking out the first two batters before giving way to Chad Qualls.  Qualls got Grudzielanek to ground out on one pitch, sending the Astros to bat with a chance to retake the lead. But the Royals sent converted starter Jimmy Gobble to the mound in the 8th, and he set Wilson, Ausmus, and Everett down in order.  That left Qualls to face the heart of the Royals’ lineup in the top of the ninth.  

After getting Sanders on a ground out to start the inning, Qualls gave up a double to Brown. Then, pinch-hitting in the pitcher’s spot, Matt Stairs ran the count to 3-2 before coaxing a walk.  First baseman Mientkiewicz, with his considerable BO fan club, came to the plate next.  The 2004 World Series contestant ran the count full just like Stairs, and then fouled a pitch off.  With the nervous crowd on the edge of the seats, Qualls threw another strike and Mientkiewicz sent a deep drive to right field.  Palmeiro, who replaced Berkman in right in the eighth, was not playing deep against the slap hitting first baseman, and the ball sailed over his head and the 7-foot outfield fence, for a homerun.  Mientkiewicz circled the bases with only his second four-bagger of the year, and the Royals had a 7-4 lead.  Wheeler replaced Qualls and got Berroa and Buck out to end the inning.  But the damage was done.

The Royals’ closer, Ambiorix Burgos, took over in the ninth and got pinch hitter Orlando Palmeiro, leadoff man Biggio, and slugger Mike Lamb all retired on 7 pitches.  In thirty minutes, Minute Maid Park was turned from a noisy, happy party place to a morgue.  For the mighty Royals had just won their 19th game in 68 tries.

Of course, we didn’t care.  It was an exciting contest and no one had been rained or pooped on.  We scrambled down to the first row of seats while all the Astros’ fans headed quietly up the aisles.  A friendly usher snapped a couple pictures for us, and we, too, headed for the exits.  On our way, we made our obligatory rest stop and final rhythmic clap of 2006, and headed back out to into the soupy, Texas afternoon humidity.

Back in the parking lot, we said our goodbyes to the Cowley Six—our tired yet tirelessly generous and hospitable hosts—and then made a quick exit out of downtown. Der Kommissar hightailed the Tonachels to Hobby and Bush Intercontinental Airports before heading off for one final night of R&R with the remaining BO crewmembers. 

There was one more series of surprises left in BO ’06 though, as another storm hit the area soon after the Tonachel drop offs were made. After a 45-minute rain delay, we took off between storms and got to see a beautiful double rainbow during our ascent northward.  Back on the ground, the group checked into a hotel and daringly picked a dining spot off the hotel advertisements which, it turned out, had a Sunday night drink special called Slippery %$^&# and a Mexican #$%@&.

The next morning, Der Kommissar finished his 15-passenger van driving duties with a flourish, driving through yet another torrential rain20 to get to the airport.   More rain meant more delays and extra quality airport time for all the travelers.  Time spent resting up, reminiscing, and dreaming of BO ’07.


November 4, 2006
Andrew Tonachel

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1 It’s hard to overestimate the emotional connection many fans have to ballpark food.  Christo Haynes spoke for many when he noted “that first hot dog of the BO always makes me a little weepy.”

2 “The newest and most popular birthday party destination in Collin County,” according to the program.  

3 Corpus Christi, which secured the first half Division title just days before getting to Frisco, went on to become Texas League champs in the fall of 2006.

4 Williams career prior to joining the Hooks in ’06 included tours with the Gulf Coast (FL) Twins, Davenport (IA) Swing, Richmond (IN) Roosters, Lexington (KY) Legends, and Salem (VA) Avalanche.  This year, he had bounced back and forth between the Hooks and the Astros’ AAA Round Rock (TX) Express.  He arrived in Frisco on game day after flying in from an Express game in Albuquerque the night before.  

5 Check out the in-depth review of Dr. Pepper (and other parks) at www.baseballparks.com/NewPkofYr2003.asp 

6 Over the winter, a new rule was adopted to reward a quarter point for each stolen base by a BO Fantasy pick.  So, Tingler wasn’t the only one robbed when he was called out at second, the first stolen base attempt under the new format.

7 Corpus Christi went on to become 2006 Texas League Champions, with Ash, Pence, and Zobrist being named to the league All-Star team and Clark tabbed as Manger of the Year.  Pence was also named “Most Exciting Player” in the Texas League by Baseball America.

8 According to Gene, Simon produced 119 pancakes on Saturday morning: 41.3% with chocolate chips and 58.7% plain, and they were great!

9 Mariah noted that the grown men seemed particularly fond of this activity, proving that they were still quite capable of acting like a bunch of teenagers.

10 Correspondent Yuki Haynes saw it this way: “There I am, sitting in the quite bouncy back seat of The Van, watching Bill and Andrea attempt to photograph their uvulas. I have attached a picture but it does not come close to fully representing the amount of energy invested by these two to document this particular part of their anatomy.  And to think, they were sober. Such is the intoxication that the BO induces in its participants...”

11 Gonzalez, who is entering the twilight of a long, successful career, signed far more autographs and posed for more pictures than any other player before the game.  And this is something he apparently does regularly, based on the reputation he has earned amongst others waiting in line.  Which makes him that much more popular with me after having hit a walk-off single off Mariano Rivera to end the 2001 World Series and stop the Yankees’ three-year reign.

12 Manager Billy Martin inspired the Rangers’ first winning season in 1974, and they were serious contenders from 1977-79. However, since their founding in 1972, when Manager Ted Williams and the rest of the Senators moved from Washington, Ranger fans have endured mostly mediocre teams.  The Rangers have only fielded a winning team 15 times in their first 34 seasons, winning three divisional titles (’96, ’98, and ’99) and going 1-9 in the postseason.  

13 But Jim, being the dedicated BOer that he is, just wiped it off his shorts and moved strategically a couple seats down.  “Even bird poop couldn’t soil the great fun of BO,” he explained.

14 This had to be a rare feat: a two-run homer in which both scorers were sons of former major-leaguers.

15 Duckworth only made it through 45.2 innings of work in 2006 before being shut down for surgery in August.  He ended the year with a 1-5 won-loss record, bringing his lifetime record to 17-26. 

16 Mark’s last name is one that 50-year broadcaster Harry Caray never did get right.  But, then again, regarding his famous mispronunciations, Caray explained, “I've only been doing this 54 years. With a little experience, I might get better.”  More Caray gems can be found at http://www.powermaxconsulting.com/HarryQuotes.htm.    

17 Off the field was another story.  Between innings, a “veteran” fan tearily accepted a fellow senior citizen’s proposal of marriage in the stands.  All 39,867 of us got to watch it on the big screen.

18 Biggio’s HOF credentials include: ranking 25th all-time in games played (2,709), 9th in doubles (637, more than Hank Aaron), 16th in at-bats (10,359), 17th in runs scored (1,776), 30th in extra-base hits (970), 31st in hits (2,930), 1st in hit by pitch (282); playing more games, all with the same team, than any other active player; 2nd among active players in steals of third (105, behind Kenny Lofton’s 112); most career leadoff homeruns in NL (50) and 2nd all-time (Rickey Henderson)

19 During the 2006 season, Sanders became only the fifth major leaguer ever to hit 300 homeruns and steal 300 bases, joining Willie Mays, Barry and Bobby Bonds, and Andre Dawson.  Interestingly, several days after Sanders accomplished the feat, former BO performer Steve Finley became the sixth player to join the club.  Sanders is also the only active major leaguer with 10 or more homeruns for 15 straight seasons.

20 The storms brought over 10 inches of rain to Houston Monday morning alone.  The Houston Chronicle reported that Hobby Airport got over 6 inches of rain in one hour.  An air traveler in Hobby that morning was quoted as saying “this is the biggest mess I think I’ve ever seen.”