2004-Domes,Beers,and Broken Curses

Baseball Odyssey 2004: The Curse is Lifted, Calories Are Consumed, and Calvin Pickering Becomes a God

The 2004 season—otherwise known as “the-season-that-retired-the-curse”—took an ever-growing posse of baseball aficionados (we had folks join from Maine, Massachusetts, New York, North Carolina, Minnesota, Missouri, and Illinois) on a wild ride across the breadbasket of America. From Minneapolis to Milwaukee, Chicago to St. Louis, and finally Kansas City—six days, six games, five states, and over 1,500 miles. As my little nephew once said, staring in awe at a pile of puzzle pieces spilled on the floor, “That’s a big dump, Daddy.”

Day 1: Metrodome Madness (Emphasis on Dome)

Our journey kicked off at the vaunted—[insert sarcastic sneer here]—Metrodome. Now demolished, as all good eyesores eventually are, the Dome once hosted the Vikings, monster trucks, and the Twins under what I can only describe as a giant fiberglass shower cap held up by air pressure and prayer. You knew this because walking into it felt like getting sucker-punched by a wind tunnel.

The field was sunken into the Earth like a forgotten pool, and the stadium seating was clearly designed for football and existential discomfort. Zero intimacy. Johan Santana and the Twins mopped the floor with the Y-holes (Yankees, for the uninitiated), wrapping it up by 9 p.m. flat. A rare sight, given the Twins’ long and tortured relationship with those smug Bronx bastards—some of whom, to our eternal chagrin, were part of our group.

Day 2: Miller Park, Meat, and Maddox

Those traveling from afar were graciously hosted in scenic Rochester, MN by the Haynes’ clan. By 8 a.m., our modest fleet of two vehicles was zipping toward Milwaukee for Game 2 at the lovely, thoughtfully-designed Miller Park—a real ballpark. Built just three years earlier, it was part of the turn-of-the-century stadium renaissance. You know the type: open concourses, actual sightlines, decent snacks, and—be still my Midwestern heart—a retractable roof.

The Brewers hosted their arch-rivals, the Cubs, in a solid game that saw future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux do Greg Maddux things: precision, poise, and another notch in the win column for Chicago.

Day 3: Chicago Hospitality and White Sox Futility

Post-game, we made our way to Chicago, where the ever-gracious Tonachels welcomed us into the self-anointed Official Rest Stop of BO04. There was authentic deep-dish pizza (none of that casserole slander here), a crash course in some obscure baseball trading card game from Cooper, and a spirited Wiffle ball battle that left several adults limping.

The Red Sox rolled over the White Sox like a lawnmower over dandelions. Curt Schilling pitched seven innings of lights-out baseball, allowing only three hits and zero earned runs. We were treated to a Manny grand salami—because, of course, Manny being Manny.

The only blemish? The “Cell” security staff, clearly moonlighting from the Gestapo, wouldn't let us take a group photo near the field after the game. No fun allowed!

Day 4: Hoops and Homers in St. Louis

Next stop: St. Louis. Our base of operations was a split between the Claytors’ place and Will’s sister-in-law’s home (though sadly, the hosts were out of town—rude). Before the game, the Claytors enlisted our merry band to help assemble a basketball hoop. Picture a dozen baseball nerds arguing over an Allen wrench and you’ll get the idea—too many chefs, not enough instructions.

The Cardinals hosted the Pirates in a slugfest highlighted by an Albert Pujols missile that barely cleared the wall but left a vapor trail in its wake. The Cards came out on top in a season that would carry them to the World Series… where they were promptly swept by your 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox. (Ahh, that felt good.)

After the game, we held our now-traditional award ceremony under the I-64 overpass. Rhythmic clapping, inside jokes, and ceremonial ridiculousness ensued. Two years later, New Busch Stadium would open, and guess what? The Red Sox beat the Cards there too in the 2013 Series. We like to keep things consistent.

Day 5: Calvin Pickering and the Waffle House Miracle

The next morning, we rolled on to Kansas City. And let me tell you, the only proper way to cross Missouri is to stop at a Waffle House—where you can enjoy a cigarette-scented pancake and contemplate your life choices. America, baby.

But the real breakfast treat came later: Calvin Pickering, freshly called up from Omaha, decided to become Paul Bunyan with a bat. With two swings, he collected six RBIs: one grand slam and a mammoth 440-foot bomb to dead center. Future Hall of Famer Zack Greinke casually threw six shutout innings like it was a Tuesday (because it was).

Back to St. Louis that night for a rest, then on to the final leg…

Editors note: please be sure to check a more detailed account of the day's events in the Secretary's Report.

Day 6: Cubs Sweep, We Weep (Tears of Joy)

After a quick powder and pizza refill at the Tonachels’, we headed to the Friendly Confines. And for the second time on BO04, the Cubs trounced the Brewers. The game wasn’t exactly a nail-biter, but we got our moment in the sun—literally—when Baseball Odyssey 2004 showed up on the Wrigley scoreboard. YES. WE. DID.

From there, everyone went their separate ways, hearts full, stomachs fuller, memories made, and curses lifted. Until next time, BO crew.

Here are da links!

• Photos Album - features all of the pictures I have collected so far for your viewing pleasure.

• Secretary's Report - our esteemed Secretary/Historian has prepared a detailed review for your reading pleasure.