Deep in the Heart of Texas - Day 3
By Andrew Tonachel
Sunday morning, groggy and dry, we drug ourselves out of beds and sleeping bags and packed our belongings for a trip to Houston. Before leaving, we assembled in the backyard for another group shot. It was quite a feat to get assembled, with all of us in various states of consciousness. As brothers are wont to do, Ian found it a perfect time to tease his younger sister. But, seizing the opportunity to helping the damsel in distress (or, more likely, identifying with the pain and agony of the younger sibling victim), Cooper stood up for Christina and demanded return of her Red Sox cap from the aggressor. Getting Ruby, Rosie, Roxie, and Ella all in the picture was also a feat. But the deed was done. Then it was time to pile into the vans and head south.
There’s 250 miles of Not Much on Interstate 43 between Dallas and Houston, so the trip south was high quality bonding time. There was card-playing, discussion about the Stanley Cup finals, efforts to remember what fantasy players we each had picked for the day’s game, and trying not to hit our heads on the roof of the van after every large bump in the road (while still “putting up the roof” for our drivers’ fine work at the wheel). We stopped just short of halfway, outside Fairfield, to gas up and secure provisions for the rest of the ride. A farm truck was parked at the gas station, and some of us bought fresh blueberries and other treats from the friendly folks of
Cooper Farms. Others found treats in the convenient store, including chips and candy. The latter was a devastating choice, as the sugar rush quickly overcame the youngest members of the trip, and silliness took hold. In the back of the 15-passenger van, Christina and Cooper started trash talking which led to contests such as who could hold their arm in the air the longest. Bill Bates egged on the contestants and their trash talking by expressing doubts about the contestants’ abilities and making up rules to keep them on their toes. Mercifully, the contests came to an end when we made our second and final pit stop outside Houston.
Once again, drivers Jeff and Simon got us to the ballpark safely and well before game time. We city folks were shocked and a little suspicious when the parking attendant in the lot we pulled into asked us our post-game destination and directed us to an easy out parking spot accordingly. It pays to arrive early. As we exited the van, the weather was what you might expect for mid-June in Houston: sunny and hot. Therefore, it was a bit odd to see, as we reached Minute Maid Field, lots of people carrying sweaters and wearing jeans. The explanation would come to us, though, as we entered the park and were hit with the cool dry, air-conditioned elements inside the retractable-roofed stadium.
We were not early enough to scrounge for autographs, but we had time to explore the park a little before the matinee game between the Kansas City Royals and hometown, reigning National League Champion Astros. For those of us used to open air ball parks, enclosed stadiums can feel a little disorienting. The ball sounds different off the bat, the crowd noise is more concentrated, and, instead of sun above there are steel beams that high fly balls appear ready to strike (though they rarely do). But it’s still baseball. From our seats in section 133 down the right field line, we got a good view of the leg kick and long stride of Andy Pettitte as he fired a strike to centerfielder Esteban German to start the game.
Pettitte is an aging star who started the year off slowly, going 6-7 with a 5.46 ERA in his first 15 games. However, he is a key factor in the Astros’ hopes for returning to the postseason. The impending return of Roger Clemens will take some of the load off the lefty, and he often turns it up a notch when the games count most. But, at this point in time, even facing the lowly Royals was no gimme for Pettitte. Nevertheless, he breezed through the lineup, allowing only a second inning infield hit to third baseman Tony Graffanino and a third inning single to light-hitting catcher John Buck in his first tour through the Royals’ lineup.
Opposite Pettitte was right-hander Brandon Duckworth, pitching in just his second game of the season.14 Duckworth is a five-year major league veteran with a losing lifetime record, mostly as a spot starter. Injuries have contributed to his inconsistency. On this day, he seemed to be keeping the Astros off-balance early, allowing only one hit, a double to centerfielder Chris Burke, in the first three frames. The lack of offense on both sides sometimes left time to get acquainted with some of the ball park’s other features, including a giant electronic scoreboard over right field, the home run train—a real steam locomotive waiting to blow its whistle and chug along 800 feet of track over leftfield—and the deep centerfield hill and flagpole, a tip of the hat to old Detroit Tiger stadium. The most curious thing to me about the place was the bird population. When I sat in my seat at the start of the game, I joked that we wouldn’t need to worry about bird droppings in the indoor stadium. However, we did see birds flying around on the field who must have entered with the paying customers or set up shop on during a night game when the roof was open. So, when something dripped on me from above in the later innings, I thought I was in for trouble. Turned out it was condensation from the air conditioning system high above us.
The fourth inning started with veteran Mark Grudzielanek15 (a.k.a. “Grud,” a nickname which would have helped 50-year broadcaster Harry Caray who never did quite get it right) lining Pettitte’s second pitch down the first baseline, only to have Mike Lamb dive and catch it. Pettitte then struck out Reggie Sanders for his third strikeout and got leftfielder Emil Brown to fly to center to end the inning. In the bottom of the inning, Burke hit another double with one out. That woke up the person behind the controls of the Astros’ public address system, and the subdued crowd was whipped into frenzy by the “Killer Bees” buzzing around the park. Started several years ago when the heart of the potent Astros lineup included Craig Biggio, Jeff Bagwell, and Derek Bell, the high volume buzzing is often considered very annoying by many visiting clubs, but the home crowd loves it. In this game, the killer bee following Burke was slugger Lance Berkman who had been hitting well. However, Duckworth struck him out on four pitches and got Morgan Ensberg to tap weakly in front of the plate and get thrown out at first to end the threat. After four, it was still 0-0.16
Pettitte continued his dominance through the fifth, getting all three batters without the ball leaving the infield. In fact, only four of Pettitte’s fifty-two pitches left the infield in those first five frames, and he seemed to be cruising. And, although he wasn’t as efficient as Pettitte, Duckworth was also retiring every batter, except Chris Burke, going into the fifth. However, leftfielder Preston Wilson started the fifth by slamming his seventh homerun over the fence in left centerfield. That got the homerun train moving and crowd buzzing. Catcher Brad Ausmus followed with a double and shortstop Adam Everett, who made the last out of the 2005 baseball season, singled, bringing up Pettitte with two on and none out. Pettitte laid down a perfect sacrifice bunt, moving up the runners with one out. That brought up future Hall of Famer second baseman Craig Biggio.17 An Astro since arriving in the majors as a catcher in 1988, Biggio is a crowd favorite in Houston. However, in this at bat, after working the count to 2-1, he popped out to the third baseman and runners couldn’t advance. The Astros’ top hitter, first baseman Lamb, was next, but Duckworth struck him out on five pitches and the damage was held to one run.
The disappointment of the bottom of the fifth seemed to be carried into the field in the top of the sixth. John Buck deposited Pettitte’s first pitch of the inning into the left field seats, making it 1-1. Then Duckworth helped his own cause with a surprise double and moved to third on a sacrifice bunt by leadoff hitter Esteban German. Grudzielanek followed with another run-scoring double, bringing up dangerous Reggie Sanders.18 Sanders swung at Pettitte’s first pitch and drove it just over the wall in right field, putting the Royals up 4-1. After surrendering the lead on four extra base hits in five batters, and seemingly out of gas, Pettitte settled down and got two fly ball outs to end the inning.
Between innings, a rare sixth inning stretch was observed in recognition of Prostate Cancer Awareness, a new, national Father’s Day tradition at ballparks nationwide. “Take me out to the ballgame” was sung an inning early, giving the Astros an extra excuse to ice the opposing pitcher. And it seemed to work when Lance Berkman stroked a one-out single, and Ensberg reached on a walk. Perhaps under the weight of the intensified rhythmic clapping, Duckworth started to crack, allowing the runners to move up on a wild pitch to centerfielder Wilson. Then, on a 3-2 pitch, Wilson hit into a run-scoring fielder’s choice to make it 4-2, and sending Duckworth to the showers. Royals’ manager Buddy Bell executed a “double switch”, bringing Mark Teahan off the bench to replace Graffanino at third base and hit ninth, and inserting reliever Elmer Dessens in the fifth spot in the order. So, Ausmus came to the plate representing the tying run, but Dessens got him to fly out deep to centerfield to end the threat and preserve the lead for Royals’ starter.
Pettitte returned to the mound in the seventh and was able to retire the side in order, finishing with a strikeout of Buck. Other than the rough sixth inning, he had faced only one batter more than the minimum and thrown only 76 pitches through 7 innings, looking like the Pettitte of old. However, following “God Bless America,” with the Astros needing offense in the late innings, manager Phil Garner lifted Pettitte for pinch hitter extraordinaire Orlando Palmeiro with one out in the bottom of the seventh. Palmeiro rewarded his manager’s decision, working a 7-pitch walk off Dessens and moving to third on a double by Biggio. The crowd perked up when Lamb bounced a run-scoring grounder to second base. Then, with two outs, the .300 hitting Burke stroked another 3-2 pitch for a double down the line, scoring Biggio to tie the score. Then the Royals intentionally walked Berkman to get to the struggling Ensberg. On a 2-2 pitch, the third baseman hit a long fly to left that looked like it might hit one of the ceiling girders from where we sat, but it found Emil Brown’s glove instead to end the inning. Nevertheless, the comeback wiped out Duckworth’s opportunity for a win, and the game was left to a battle of the bullpens.
Veteran Trever Miller took the mound for the Astros in the 8th, and he looked impressive, striking out the first two batters before giving way to Chad Qualls. Qualls got Grudzielanek to ground out on one pitch, sending the Astros to bat with a chance to retake the lead. But the Royals sent converted starter Jimmy Gobble to the mound in the 8th, and he set Wilson, Ausmus, and Everett down in order. That left Qualls to face the heart of the Royals’ lineup in the top of the ninth.
After getting Sanders on a ground out to start the inning, Qualls gave up a double to Brown. Then, pinch-hitting in the pitcher’s spot, Matt Stairs ran the count to 3-2 before coaxing a walk. First baseman Mientkiewicz, with his considerable BO fan club, came to the plate next. The 2004 World Series contestant ran the count full just like Stairs, and then fouled a pitch off. With the nervous crowd on the edge of the seats, Qualls threw another strike and Mientkiewicz sent a deep drive to right field. Palmeiro, who replaced Berkman in right in the eighth, was not playing deep against the slap hitting first baseman, and the ball sailed over his head and the 7-foot outfield fence, for a homerun. Mientkiewicz circled the bases with only his second four-bagger of the year, and the Royals had a 7-4 lead. Wheeler replaced Qualls and got Berroa and Buck out to end the inning. But the damage was done.
The Royals’ closer, Ambiorix Burgos, took over in the ninth and got pinch hitter Orlando Palmeiro, leadoff man Biggio, and slugger Mike Lamb all retired on 7 pitches. In thirty minutes, Minute Maid Park was turned from a noisy, happy party place to a morgue. For the mighty Royals had just won their 19th game in 68 tries.
Of course, we didn’t care. It was an exciting contest and no one had been rained or pooped on. We scrambled down to the first row of seats while all the Astros’ fans headed quietly up the aisles. A friendly usher snapped a couple pictures for us, and we, too, headed for the exits. On our way, we made our obligatory rest stop and final rhythmic clap of 2006, and headed back out to into the soupy, Texas afternoon humidity.
Back in the parking lot, we said our goodbyes to the Cowley Six—our tired yet tirelessly generous and hospitable hosts—and then made a quick exit out of downtown. Der Kommissar hightailed the Tonachels to Hobby and Bush Intercontinental Airports before heading off for one final night of R&R with the remaining BO crewmembers.
There was one more series of surprises left in BO ’06 though, as another storm hit the area soon after the Tonachel drop offs were made. After a 45-minute rain delay, we took off between storms and got to see a beautiful double rainbow during our ascent northward.
Back on the ground, the group checked into a hotel and daringly picked a dining spot off the hotel advertisements which, it turned out, had a Sunday night drink special called Slippery %$^&# and a Mexican #$%@&. The time was passed with riveting conversation and a frightening, fascinating focus on photographing folks’ uvulas.19
14. Duckworth only made it through 45.2 innings of work in 2006 before being shut down for surgery in August. He ended the year with a 1-5 won-loss record, bringing his lifetime record to 17-26.
15. Mark’s last name is one that 50-year broadcaster Harry Caray never did get right. But, then again, regarding his famous mispronunciations, Caray explained, “I've only been doing this 54 years. With a little experience, I might get better.” More Caray gems can be found at http://www.powermaxconsulting.com/HarryQuotes.htm.
16. Off the field was another story. Between innings, a “veteran” fan tearily accepted a fellow senior citizen’s proposal of marriage in the stands. All 39,867 of us got to watch it on the big screen.
17. Biggio’s HOF credentials include: ranking 25th all-time in games played (2,709), 9th in doubles (637, more than Hank Aaron), 16th in at-bats (10,359), 17th in runs scored (1,776), 30th in extra-base hits (970), 31st in hits (2,930), 1st in hit by pitch (282); playing more games, all with the same team, than any other active player; 2nd among active players in steals of third (105, behind Kenny Lofton’s 112); most career leadoff homeruns in NL (50) and 2nd all-time (Rickey Henderson)
18. During the 2006 season, Sanders became only the fifth major leaguer ever to hit 300 homeruns and steal 300 bases, joining Willie Mays, Barry and Bobby Bonds, and Andre Dawson. Interestingly, several days after Sanders accomplished the feat, former BO performer Steve Finley became the sixth player to join the club. Sanders is also the only active major leaguer with 10 or more homeruns for 15 straight seasons.
19. Correspondent Yuki Haynes saw it this way: “There I am, sitting in the quite bouncy back seat of The Van, watching Bill and Andrea attempt to photograph their uvulas. I have attached a picture but it does not come close to fully representing the amount of energy invested by these two to document this particular part of their anatomy. And to think, they were sober. Such is the intoxication that the BO induces in its participants...”
